Just Own It

There are times that, despite our best intentions and efforts, we just can't deliver. It's a hard thing, to have promised something, even to ourselves, and then find that we cannot make good on it. It happens to us all. What do you do with that?

Generally there are two courses of action.

The first is to make excuses.

This includes blaming others:

"Oh well, I would have had it done, but she didn't get me the thing I needed, and she said I would have it, and I couldn't do it without that, so it's really not my fault".

Pleading ignorance:

"You never said that was due today!"

And the ever popular "You don't really need that, it's not a big deal"

The other course of action is to own up to the fact that you screwed up.

This isn't as popular as the other options, but I would like to see it embraced a bit more. I could launch into a long-winded rant on the lack of accountability in general among the American public and how I think this is a shift that started in the 1950's alongside corporate ownership of our government and the lack of transparency on all levels that trickled down from it. BUT, I'm on vacation in Florida (from snowy, icy, cold, blustery MAINE) and I need to go stroll on the beach with my wife and I just don't have time today for that.

So, let me just leave you with this.

Own your shit.

When you screw up, disappoint, fail to deliver or just forget...just own that. Not in a "YA, I SCREWED UP! WHAT? OH, LIKE YOU NEVER SCREW UP?!" kind of way, but in a sincere, apologetic, "Ok, I did drop the ball here, and I'm sorry about that. You have every right to be frustrated. How can I move forward with you in a way that keeps the trust, respect and warm fuzzies that we have between us intact?"

In the long run, this is the better choice. We all mess up, sometimes in little ways, sometimes in gigantic life changing bad choices or missed details. Almost always the emotions die down and the person you screwed will reflect on how you handled it. That's where the real reckoning happens.

So let's all take one giant step forward on the maturity board. Stop behaving like the kid with blueberry all over their face who looks into their parent's eyes and insists they haven't been dipping in to the pie.

pie face

Oh, and you may find that you like yourself better this way. You know the truth, own it and move on and stop strangling yourself with your own rope.