The Edge

  In bodywork we often refer to "the edge". It's that place where you start to come up against resistance. We also refer to "the wall", which is the place where no further movement is possible. In massage the edge is where we do most of our work. I've been reflecting lately on what other places in our lives we find this place, and the short answer is...

Everywhere

In our workouts, in our relationships, in our work, in whatever we do for personal growth. It's the edges that we need to find to enact a change. Sometimes they're sharp and we come up on them abruptly, causing us to shrink back and wonder what just happened.  Others are more familiar and are worn smooth by repeated visits.

Sometimes it feels good to work with these places, challenging ourselves, pushing that boundary ever closer to the wall. (of course, the wall moves too, but that's another story)

At other times that edge is so sharp and so scary that we just can't work with it at that time. Sometimes just taking a seat a little ways off and acknowledging it's presence is enough for now. Sometimes the awareness is all it takes to begin the work.

No matter where you find yourself as you approach these places, be gentle. Knowing when to stretch just a little further and knowing when you've reached that place where enough is enough is important.

I tend to go through spurts in my life where I take on lots of edges at once (so many of them are connected), and then I take a break, I coast for awhile, and I let all that work settle in and integrate. Then I'm off again throwing myself at those places that scare me, challenge me, or confuse me.

Admittedly it may not be the best way to get things done, but It's what I do. From the outside I'm not sure how it looks. I guess it looks like a lot of different careers, a lot of moves geographically, lots of varied interests, a lack of financial stability.  I've found that this is impressive or disappointing in varied degrees depending on where someone is in their own life and what their relationship to me is.

I'm just starting grad school, I'm an intern at a college counseling center, everywhere I look I see edges, and more than a few walls. I like this place. It feels alive. I know some of those edges will cut me. I also have my eye on a few that have got me in the past, I still have the scars.

I'm ready for them this time.

The Double Doors

(Post #28 in the 31 in 31 blog challenge, read more about it here)

This is the time of year that I put the new class list together for the Wellness Room (our awesome high school program that allows kids to get bodywork, read more about it here, go ahead, I'll wait)

There are about 185 new freshman this year, and as I typed their names into the data base my mind drifted back to my first day in high school. (actually, I was in 7th grade. Our school was 7-12) It was overwhelming, scary, exciting, humbling (like we need more of that when we're 12) and just intense in every way. For many of these kids they are coming from small k-8 schools where they have been top dog for at least a year, and likely felt like the masters of their domain for the the last two or three. That changes for them today, their first day of 9th grade at the high school. They are folded in with four other towns, so most of the kids in their own class they won't know. They are suddenly at the bottom of the heap, being the youngest students in the school. It takes herculean courage just to walk in the door, and some of them will need a few trial runs before they actually get through it, but almost all of them will, and they'll keep coming back. Yes, they have to, and that's why they do, but they are also learning one of the most valuable lessons in life. Fear can be worked with. Fear can be faced, taken in, and overcome. 

That set of double doors on the school won't be the last scary door for them. In fact, it is my hope for them that they will find themselves in front of scary doors their whole life long. That they will take a deep breath, they will will themselves forward when everything in their body is telling them to run, and they will grab that handle and pull. When we step through, we leave fully half the fear on the other side of that door, and the rest is put on notice.

Where's your next set of double doors?